Merry Christmas........excuse me while I vomit!

Let me start out by saying that it was a great Christmas......up until my entire family started vomiting violently! My wife Kathie woke up Christmas morning not feeling well, and started her repeated journey to the throne because of Montazuma'a Revenge. Just who was this Montazuma guy and why does he need revenge? Can't we all just say we are sorry and get over this misunderstanding? Whatever you want, I will give you. Ok, except my Jerry Rice football cards. Everything else though. Oh, and my still in the box Wonder Woman doll. (Wonder Woman is responsible for lots of guys in my age range for realizing that a woman in tights with large gazonga's can do things to a boy......Never mind.) Back to Monte. You can have it all except those things. Oh, not my James Brown Rubber Ducky. I would have given it up but now that he has passed on, its all I have to remember him by.(I am going to start the tub right now) Anyway, Lets all say we are sorry to Monte, so we no longer have to pee from our butts! And how about the correct name Diarrhea. Who thought of that? Could'nt they have come up with something better? How about peebutt? Or liquidpoo?
So Kathie was so sick, she could not go to her Sisters house for Christmas. Now, if it were me saying I was to sick to go there, she would say I was lying. Its not that I don't like it there, its just that she thinks I don't like it there. Ok, so I would rather stay home and play Gran Turismo in my underwear. Sue me. But anyway, we packed up and went there without her. All of her relatives were there, and every one of them asked me 23 times how Kathie was doing. Uh, excuse me, but don't you think if she was doing good she would be there? We ate great food, hung out and opened presents and went back home. One side note, someone stole my Nephew Mathew's voice and replaced it with Bob Costas voice. If anyone needs someone to call a baseball game, contact my Nephew.
We were home maybe an hour when Sarah started complaining of an upset tummy. Now, she did eat 15 peices of fudge, so I chalked it up to that, but when she lost it in the bowl she had on her lap, I knew she was serious. Then, Alicia started whining. Let me get this straight, I love Alicia with all of my heart, but she is the queen of whining! She could bring down small countries if they placed her on the front line and gave her a hangnail. Really! She soon lost her cookies and Sommer soon after that. All in all, they threw up about 15 times beetween them (no exageration) and Kathie was still sick, so I had the job of cleaning out the bowls and telling them it would be OK. This was all through the night, so I got very little sleep. About 5:30 in the morning, I awoke feeling very nocuous and went to the bathroom. I started the gag reflex and it took about 10 times going "hork" before it finally came out. Oy vey! I went back to bed, and when I woke up Mr. Montazuma came for a visit. Ok, many visits. Ok, I counted his visits. 15 of them, thoughout the course of the 26th. What fun! The girls actually were laughing at me, because I would get up and say "number 7", and so on. I actually considered shoving my James Brown Rubber Ducky up there to stop it, until I heard of his passing. I don't think Wonder Woman would have fit.
Thats all for now......Uh oh, #16 is here.